Young adults are sometimes “cocky” enough to think that they (and their friends) know all that they need to know about life. I certainly did. Growing up in the turbulent 1960s, my mantra was to not trust anyone over 30. An absurd statement I realize, but it seemed that too many adults did not understand the dynamic changes occurring in the world – civil rights movement, antiwar movement, free speech – in my egocentric view of the world.
Young whippersnapper – age 22
However, young adults hopefully become wiser as they enter the world of involvement (the world of employment and parenthood). They need to listen to the advice of their elders. Too often the advice of elders is seen as narrow-minded and lacking vision. As a young adult I was certainly inclined to think so in my own narrow-minded and lacking vision way. But experience has taught me otherwise.
Elders must also be engaged in their communities. Elders need to continue to learn (life-long learning) and not rely totally on their age and experience as the complete package for wisdom later in life.1 Elders need to get involved as sages. Sages are elders who choose to use their experience in life for the betterment of their fellow citizens.
In the year 1900, 2.4 million Americans, or 2.4% of the population, were over 65 years of age. In the year 2022, approximately 17.1% of the population (nearly 58 million) were over 65 years of age, with a projection to 22% by year 2040. This aging population represents a wealth of resources that we need to use effectively in the decades ahead. Our aging citizens might be losing some of their physical capabilities, but they still can be vital contributors to society.
The book From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Profound New Vision of Growing Older by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi makes a dramatic case for the need of elders in our society.2 He notes that in past generations, elders were considered to be tribal leaders, or sages, or wise individuals that would lend significant advice to the younger generations. With the advent of the industrial and computer revolutions, we seem less likely to listen to the advice of our elders, assuming that they don’t “know anything,” since they might not be familiar with some of the latest technology. The author, however, emphasizes that elders are:
- sages who offer experience, balanced judgment and wisdom for the welfare of society;
- wisdom-keepers who have the ongoing responsibility for maintaining society’s well-being and safeguarding the health of the planet;
- people who are still growing, still learning, and synthesizing wisdom from life-long experiences, formulating this into a legacy for future generations;
- going through a process of conscious and deliberate growth, becoming sages who are capable of guiding their families and communities with hard-earned wisdom.
All too often we treat our senior citizens as our elderly, not our elders. Despite the loss of some physical and mental capabilities, our elders should come to terms with their declining physical capabilities and accept expanded mental potential, spiritual renewal, and greater social usefulness. Personally, being in the midst of this process, I feel energized with this call to action. Effective sage-ing is a process that enables older people to become spiritually radiant, physically vital, and socially responsible “elders of the tribe.”
Our elders (sages) are, most of all, capable of being:
- Mentors—teaching the young. This is perhaps one of the most important roles for any of us, actively supporting and nurturing the educational process. Hands-on mentoring can make a difference when it comes to issues such as literacy, spiritual development and parenting just to name a few examples.
- Mediators—helping to resolve conflict, both civil and intergenerational. Our elders have a “world of experience” to help with issues that cannot seem to be resolved.
- Monitors—serving as watchdogs of public bodies. Their “world of experience” can help recognize problems in their early stages and advocate for change before significant harm is done.
- Mobilizers—spearheading social change. Our sages can use their experience and influence to lead the fight for change.
- Motivators—urging people toward the public good and away from special interests. It is too easy to get caught up in our narrowly focused agenda, losing sight of the common good. Elders can help keep us on track.
Two mentors during my medical training, Dr. Sam Katz (former Chair of Pediatrics, Duke University Medical Center)3and Dr. George Brumley4 are constant reminders to me of the example I need to live up to as I age. Their wisdom, compassion and their genuine interest in my training, my professional career and my personal life stood out as prime examples of sages using the 5Ms to make a difference.5
The actor Kirk Douglas wrote later in life that “now in my golden years, I’ve learned that you can’t learn how to live until you know how to give.” I couldn’t agree more. I just wish we all, including myself, learned it sooner.
Spiritual development and its accompanying journey are critical to this whole process. Regardless of your denomination or faith, the ability to recognize a higher power providing guidance and direction serves to emphasize our role to accept that direction and to serve others. If we choose to see our age-ing as a purely personal issue, we have lost our moral compass and have chosen to ignore others. By sage-ing, we can serve as the examples of integrity for others – others listening to us, others caring for us and others willing to engage with us. Our words and deeds will live on if we exhibit the grace and mercy extended toward us.6-8
Aspiring elder/sage – age 74
It is never too late to get actively involved in our communities, promoting projects that will improve the lives of our fellow citizens. We cannot accomplish positive change without the willingness to listen and learn together. Our elders (sages) have a responsibility to get involved in the events of today. There should be no gender predilection for sages. Everyone, female and male, is capable. We cannot sit back, saying it is no longer our responsibility. It’s our responsibility because so many in previous generations sacrificed their lives for their opportunities, which are now our opportunities. I’m looking forward to the challenge in the years ahead.
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/are-we-ready-for-life-long-learning/
- From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Profound New Vision of Growing Older by Zalman Schacter-Shalomi (Time-Warner Books, 1997).
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/why-mentors-matter-a-tribute-to-dr-sam-katz/
- Saul R. My Children’s Children: Raising Young Citizens in the Age of Columbine, CreateSpace; 2013. (Chapter 21 – Heroes get involved in their communities; pp.79-80)
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/mmsand-mmms/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/teachers-affect-eternity/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/grace-a-gift-or-a-journey/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/mercy-2/