I have a confession to make. I am a rabid sports fan. I love to go to sporting events, and I love to watch them on TV. (I no longer listen to them on the radio like I used to as a child). This habit, unfortunately, takes away from otherwise productive reading time so I have to self-impose certain limits.
Sports play a significant role in society. They emphasize the need for fitness and exercise, sorely lacking in our society as a whole. Sports remind us of the interactive role of mind and body. Physical conditioning and technical expertise will not triumph without the right mental attitude. As a matter of fact, sometimes the right mental conditioning will allow folks to prevail over their physically superior competitors. Sports are also a social experience for so many of us. We have a common goal as we cheer for our favorite teams with our fellow fans. We collectively share in the victories (and defeats) and often have a collective pride in the accomplishments.
Yet, sports of today are often the very symbol of what is wrong in our society. Sports talk shows make it their business to belittle people under the guise of journalism. Taunting on the football field is excused as showmanship or the business of sports entertainment. Tennis and other sports certainly have had their “bad boys” with their inane antics that probably boosted ratings. Players often dance around like they are the best player in the land after a remarkable play, forgetting that they had an even greater number of failed plays.
So, what’s wrong with these displays? These displays of boasting or intimidation tend to breed an atmosphere of intolerance that pervades our society. In short, there is a lack of sportsmanship.
The dictionary defines sportsmanship as a sporting participant “who is fair, generous, a good loser, and a gracious winner.” I think there has been a general deterioration in sportsmanship, blamed in part by the media attention given to the poor sportsman and poor sports fans. I think sportsmanship is the key to starting to make positive strides to improve our community. Sportsmanship exemplifies the right attitude toward others. If one exhibits fairness and generosity, we are making great strides toward showing love for others. If we are good losers and gracious winners, we are showing love for others.
When teams (and their fans) competing in rivalries say that they hate each other, our children continue to hear the wrong messages and do not have the maturity to recognize the difference between an athletic contest and the visceral reactions when people can barely contain themselves from saying and/or doing unfortunate things.
The sporting arena is one of the primary places to demonstrate that we can engage in spirited competition yet recognize that life has a bigger purpose than just winning or losing. That purpose is to help our fellow citizens and to help our community be the best it can be. The lessons of sports are truly the lessons of life if we only listen. These are hard lessons to learn but the ones with the greatest impact. If we learn fairness, generosity, good losing and gracious winning in sports, we will have learned how to deal fairly, generously, good naturedly and graciously with our fellow citizens.
I am equally worried that the deterioration in sportsmanship signals a deterioration in civility. A formal definition of civility can be “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.” On the surface that might appear to be relatively straightforward and easily obtained with minimal effort. I would argue against that notion. The process of being polite and exhibiting courtesy goes beyond a transient interaction. It needs to be engrained into overall behavior patterns and into one’s thought processes, for it needs to be a way of life and not just transactional when it is convenient.
Truth and trust are the underpinnings of civility and are augmented by humanity, sincerity, humility, empathy, and vulnerability. When recognizing our common humanity with sincere understanding and humility, we are now able to be vulnerable and start down the path toward true or radical empathy. Civility means using this whole toolbox of traits in the variety of situations below. Without civility, what really matters essentially goes unsaid and unheard.
Of greatest concern is the easy transition from lack of civility to expressions of hate.1 The toxicity of hate easily converts to overt disdain. Overt disdain in the wrong set of circumstances leads to violence. Add in the gun culture of our society and now we have the far-too-common circumstance of shootings. Thoughts and prayers are insufficient (and not even an adequate response) in a society that continues to tolerate the lack of civility far too commonly.
The example of sportsmanship sets the stage for positive community improvement. Sportsmanship demonstrates love for others, respect, and honesty. It provides the right way to deal with our fellow citizens. Let’s always be fair, generous, good-natured and gracious, no matter the playing field…and be extension enhance our civil society.