Dr. Bob: I can’t get my two children on a regular sleep schedule. My three-year-old wants to stay up until her 10-year-old brother goes to bed. I know that they each have different sleep requirements. How do I set the schedules and get things settled down at night?
Answer: Your question has several aspects so let me address them one at a time.
- Children have substantial sleep requirements. From the 12 to 16 hours of sleep that infants (4-12 months of age) need to the 7-9 hours of sleep for adults, different age children have different needs. For 3-year-olds, 10-13 hours of sleep are recommended. In contrast, your 10-yesr-old son’s sleep requirements are slightly less at 9-12 hours of sleep at night. So, it is perfectly reasonable to have your three-year-old daughter go to bed a little earlier than your son, and at the same time it is not unreasonable for your son to go to bed at the same time to get an extra hour of sleep. It is never a problem getting some extra sleep over the recommended minimum.
- Bedtime routines should be similar but unique for each child. In general, pediatricians encourage the 3 B’s for bedtime routine – bath time, brushing of teeth and book reading. Bath time is a special time in the life of a child, especially for a 3-year-old. In addition to getting clean, one can play with certain toys with appropriate supervision. The 10-year-old is taking an independent bath or shower. Assuring that they brush their teeth well is important. Dental hygiene is so critical and should be started at an early age. Then the most important activity – book reading. The quiet, peaceful and engaged time of reading books is so essential, even for the 10-year-old. Setting the right example by reading is critical to future development. Remember, if milk builds strong bones, books build strong brains.
- The tough part still remains – how to convince your daughter that she needs to go to bed before her brother. This takes work and planning. Think through your schedule after supper. Set aside specific time for each child in addition to any joint activities. Be sure to minimize screen time. The whole family should be “winding down” and decreasing things that might overstimulate children. Over time, you should be able to emphasize (gently, of course) why your 3-year-old needs to go to bed a little earlier than her brother.
This plan is not perfect but is a good start. Typically, an awareness of the different needs of your children will help now and in the future as differences become even more obvious. Be ready to adapt and pivot as needed, especially when different activities will disrupt the family schedule.
Dr. Bob: My 18-month-old boy sucks his thumb. Should I be worried? Will it affect his teeth?
Answer: The simple answer is don’t worry. At this age, there is no harm to the thumb or teeth at this age. The act of thumb-sucking can provide a real comfort to a child. This soothing activity should not be discouraged. Children need to be able to self-regulate, and thumb-sucking is one way to do it. It is best to let it run its course, Typically, this activity will slowly go away over time. Do check to make sure that his thumb is not getting any skin breakdown.
Dr. Saul is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health and his website is www.mychildrenschildren.com. Contact Dr. Bob at askdrbobsaul@gmail.com with more questions.