Victor Hugo was a profound storyteller. Through his works of fiction, he has relayed powerful messages about the human condition and he has suggested ways to honestly address them.
Blog
Em (“within”) – Pathos (“suffering”); Empathy Revisited – 2025
Empathy reminds us that the world doesn’t revolve around us, that we are just a small part, but capable of significant good.
F-A S-C-I-S-M
It would be convenient to separate the ways of government from the nurturing of our children, but it cannot be done.
Hate and Fear – Enemies of Children
Let’s take the toxicity of hate and fear out of the lives of our children and substitute it with multiple layers of kindness.
Change is a parenting constant – Part III
Change will “attempt” to affect transitions but our preparedness for change can bolster our strengths and minimize our weaknesses.
Change is a parenting constant – Part II
Well, change is afoot! Every situation requires a unique approach and an open mind.
Change is a parenting constant – Part I
Change will occur (it is a constant) and the ability to adapt to such change is crucial to parenting and, more broadly, to all of our interactions in society.
Was I Wrong? Only in Style
I will continue to fight against discrimination and attempts to demonize diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives that make us stronger, not weaker.
“Amazing Grace”
Diversity, equity and inclusion should be an integral part of our society and of our ethos. Our common humanity demands it.
Five lessons from a medical career…and life
Trusting the intuition of others, listening intently, leaving biases behind, smiling and remembering our shared humanity are great lessons for medical professionals…and for the rest of us.
Support for children and families – ICS!
I have long agreed with others that it takes a village to raise a child. To deny that reality is to deny our common humanity. We are all related. Everything that we do or hope to do is interconnected with our fellow citizens.
End of life care – a la THE PITT
We have the opportunity to use these blessings of life, at the moments of death, to exalt their memory and so honor them and their lives.
Ringing the bell…not everyone can
We can celebrate when children and their family ring the bell but what do we do when they are unable to ring the bell?
50 years…and counting
My fifty years and counting as a medical provider and related roles do provide me with the opportunity to speak with some degree of authority on issues child and family related.
Parenting – Map or GPS?
The map for parenting can be vague at times so parents have to have the willingness to learn from each day and from each interaction to love and relate in meaningful ways with our children.
Seven Great Pediatric Achievements – Under Threat
One cannot tear at one thread on the fabric of pediatric care and research and expect the wonderful tapestry of pediatric care and research to effectively continue to achieve great things.
“Stay Calm and Parent On”
One cardinal principle in parenting – a dysregulated parent cannot regulate a child. By regulation, I mean the ability to be present, attentive, attuned and responsive to the needs of the child.
Patriotism is between the ears, not on your head
Displays of patriotism without the requisite actions are incomplete in my estimation.
Parental regulation – March 21, 2025
Dr. Bob: I find parenting very stressful. I now can appreciate what my parents went through. Do you have any advice as to how to learn to relax and respond in a calm manner to issues with my children? I want to try and do better. Answer: Parenting is tough work. Even when in a…
WOKE is good, not evil
Being woke does not promote hate as some contend. Quite the contrary. It seeks understanding and inclusion, acknowledging history and working to learn from it for a better future.
Water safety – March 14, 2025
Dr. Bob: The warm weather is coming soon. We do not have a pool, but our neighbors do. They do not have a fence around their pool. One of my children is an avid swimmer, and my toddler has to use his swimmies to be in the water. What advice do you have for the…
Aphorisms to live by
Aphorisms tend to ring true, provoking reflection and hopefully inspiring beneficial actions.
Measles revisited – March 7, 2025
Dr. Bob: (Originally published in March 2024 and updated March 2025) I am concerned about the spread of measles in Texas and now there is a pediatric death. Could it spread to South Carolina and do I need to be worried? My children have received both of their measles shots but some of their classmates…
Poverty and children – II. Action
For the sake of our children and their families, we cannot let the toxin of poverty continue to be a pervasive stain on our society and our democracy.
Flu infections – February 28, 2025
Dr. Bob: I am very concerned about the recent increase in the flu. I understand that children can get it, but they tend to have milder cases. What should I be doing to protect them and what to do if they get it? Answer: Your question is very timely. We are in the midst of…
Poverty and children – I
What does poverty do to harm children? The simple answer is “a lot.”
Books – February 21, 2025
Dr. Bob: I keep hearing about the importance of books for children. I don’t understand how books early will make a difference. Children cannot read in infancy, so it seems like a wasted effort to try and read to them. When should I start reading to them in earnest? Answer: I am so glad that…
Voices for children
There are countless other quotes that I could use to emphasize my point that action, not inaction, is necessary during times when children and families are pushed to the side and not truly valued. I use these quotes to remind me (and hopefully stir my readers) about our constant requirement to do all that we can and not be deterred.
Hair loss – February, 14, 2025
Dr. Bob: I am worried that my 10-year-old child is losing her hair. It seems to be confined to a specific area and resembles a bald circle. What should I be worried about? When should I go to the doctor? Will the hair grow back? Answer: Hair loss is fairly common in children, for a…
Children are not 3/5ths
Children are not 3/5 a person and deserve so much more than what we are currently providing.
Home alone – February 7, 2025
Dr. Bob: There are times when I need to leave our children home alone – after school, dinner meetings and the like. When do you think it is safe for the children to be home by themselves? How old should they be? What precautions should I take? Answer: This is a tricky question. I think…
Clouds, Love and Life
My reflections can make me commit to considering all sides now and use my experience and years ahead to continue to make a difference for all children.
Concussions – January 31, 2025
Dr. Bob: Both of my children play sports where there is a risk of head trauma or a concussion – football and soccer. Are there special precautions I should take? How serious are concussions in childhood? What do I do if they get a concussion? Answer: Your questions are common ones from parents during childhood. …
Does racism still exist in America?
Let’s not push back by denying things but advance forward to the betterment of all. Let’s put others in front of ourselves. Let’s be heroes.
Speech delays – January 24, 2025
Dr. Bob: I am worried that my 24-month-old son has only a few words. He seemed to be delayed at 18 months, but we were told just to wait and see. His motor development seems fine (sitting at 6 months, walking at 11 months) and he is very playful. Should we be concerned about his…
Areas of Moral Clarity
Using Paul Farmer’s AMCs as our guide, our efforts can be converted into our achievements on behalf of all children.
Baby sleeping – January 17, 2025
Dr. Bob: I have been reading a lot about arrangements for infant sleeping. My parents want to buy bumper pads and cute pillows for the crib for our new baby boy due soon. My reading tells me that we should not have those in the crib. And I also read that I should not have…
2025 and the three Rs – Review, Renew, Recommit
When we pause and reflect on our actions in our community, a “new and improved” filter (developed by our review through continuous introspection) will allow us to renew and recommit our energies toward community improvement.
Is my child overcommitted? – January 10, 2025
Dr. Bob: My two children, ages 10 and 14, are signed up for so many things – sports, music, dance, and debate. It seems that we are constantly on the go and barely have time for family meals, homework and sleep. I worry that they are overcommitted but don’t know what to do about it. …
Loathing – it works but it shouldn’t
We have to resist such an insidious negative influence. Let’s be willing to recognize what we do well and where we need to improve. Only then can we truly live out the American Dream.
Why so many colds? – January 3, 2025
Dr. Bob: My three children (two in grade school and one in kindergarten) seem to have colds all the time in the winter. The sneezing and coughing don’t seem to go away. Not only do the kids get colds and pass them around, each child has cold after cold. And of course, my husband and…
Infant mental health – Part II
To optimize the development and well-being of our children, the physical health and the mental health must be considered at every step.
Vision and crossed eyes – December 27, 2024
Dr. Bob: My three-month-old daughter appears to have crossed eyes at times. Some family members say don’t worry about it, that it will go away. Some family members have warned me about potential dangers. What is the best course of action? Answer: You are right to be concerned about your infant’s eyes. They are critical to…
Infant mental health – Part I
Of all the things that we do in society, infant mental health is the most crucial of all.
Constipation – December 20, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 7-year-old son has been having problems with a lot of stomach aches recently. His bowel movements are quite large and infrequent. Sometimes he will have problems controlling himself and have accidents. He is quite upset with this. We don’t know what to do and fear that the problem will only get worse. …
Perspectives
Perspectives can unite us or bitterly separate us. We can choose to see the other side and acknowledge basic truths, or we fiercely argue only what we “see” and refuse to accept alternate ways to move forward constructively.
Developmental concerns – December 13, 2024
Dr. Bob: My child has been identified as being behind in development. She is behind in both motor development and her speech. I have been referred for further evaluation but am concerned about the delay in scheduling those appointments. Any suggestions? Answer: I share in your concerns. Monitoring your child’s progress developmentally is such an…
Welfare is not a dirty word
Let’s make welfare a goal rather than an evil presence. Let’s make American generous again.
A fussy baby – December, 6, 2024
Dr. Bob: My infant daughter started to have fits of crying around 2-3 weeks of age that are difficult for any of us to control. I remember some similar problem with my first child, but this seems so much worse. It is quite disruptive to the family and frays our nerves. Any suggestions are appreciated.…
Freedom and children
We cannot just be content with removing barriers, but we must be constructing systems, capacity, and time for parents and communities to supply “good” that will lead to thriving children and families.
Teen mental health – November 29, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am worried about my teenage son. His school performance is dropping off, and he is less interested in being with his friends. He says things that make me worry about possible self-harm. When I try to bring things up, he immediately shuts down. Any suggestions? Answer: This is such a difficult time…
Trust – multifaceted and hopefully pervasive
Developing and nurturing trust should be a constant process.
Foster parenting – November 22, 2024
Dr. Bob: My husband and I are seriously considering becoming foster parents. We have a very independent teenager, and we all think that we can offer a very stable environment and help nurture some children through difficult times. We know that this will pose some challenges but would like your thoughts about the process. Answer: …
Our better angels
I will continue to fight for our children, constantly endeavoring to invoke our better angels and working with others to keep our better angels at the forefront of our actions and interactions.
Nutrition and Vitamins – November 15, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am worried about my child’s nutrition. She is a good eater, but she does not seem to be getting a well-rounded diet. Should I supplement it with vitamins? Will they provide the nutrients that her diet is lacking? Answer: Before I answer the vitamin question, let me first address the issue of…
Resentment – a close cousin of hate
“Resentment displaces hope and purpose the way carbon monoxide displaces air.”
School refusal – November 8, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 7-year-old son all of a sudden is terrified of school and does not want to go. His refusal has led to some meltdowns at home, and my husband and I are really frustrated with our inability to fix the problem. Any suggestions are appreciated. Answer: This is a complex issue. Remember that…
VOTE – for the children
I fervently hope that you will vote for the children.
The “disobedient” child – November 1, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 6-year-old daughter’s grades are failing. She has a difficult time with concentrating. She won’t listen to me and is very disobedient. There is no change no matter how well or how harshly I treat her as she is so stubborn. Will she grow up to be a disobedient girl and later drop…
Hate negates kindness
Let’s take the toxicity of hate out of the lives of our children and substitute it with multiple layers of kindness.
The crippling cost of inaction
Choosing to do nothing or ignore the problems at hand is an action that allows or permits the permanent erosion of fulfilling our responsibility to others.
The importance of early reading – October 25, 2024
Dr. Bob: I have read so much recently about the importance of early reading with children. How early should I be doing this? Is some of this advice over-hyped since children might not be able to really process all of that information? My in-laws think that I am too compulsive with my reading routine with…
“Show the world all the love in your heart”
If we actively engage in the process of radical empathy, we are fulfilling our promise to others and ourselves to be the best that we can be.
Children and natural disasters – October 11, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am very concerned about how to deal with my children in the midst of the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. We have been without power for 5 days and making do with limited food and resources. Plus, we have to try and help my aging parents with dealing with the problems with house…
Love thy neighbor
The ability to love thy neighbor is seriously in jeopardy these days.
Teenage driver – October 4, 2024
Dr. Bob: My daughter is turning 16 and desperately wants to drive. We have waited until she turns 16 to even have the discussion about driving. We know that insurance will be high but are even more worried about her attention to all of the factors needed to be a good driver. What advice do…
More alike than different
Living with artificial differences can be healthy so long we understand our commonality and embrace our humanity.
Am I spoiling my child? – September 27, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am a new parent and concerned about what I hear about spoiling children. I have been cautioned to avoid doing too much (run to her whenever she cries or not being firm enough as she gets older) for her. Yet I want to do everything I can to make sure she feels…
Do we have a broken water main?
Water main breaks will continue, and we will jump into the breach quickly to correct the problem. Why can’t we do the same with similar crises for our children?
Sore joints – September 20, 2024
Dr. Bob: My husband and I love to pick up our 2-year-old daughter by her hands and swing her in between us when we are walking. My mother-in-law, a nurse, said that that could cause injury to her elbow. We see parents doing that all the time. What could go wrong? Answer: During the course…
Could my child do that?
As parents, we must (MUST, not should) be willing to critically evaluate our children and ourselves, their interactions and our interactions, their mental health and our mental health, and their concerns and our concerns as we seek to be the best parents we can be.
COVID vaccine – Again? – September 13, 2024
Dr. Bob: I see that the FDA just approved a new COVID booster, and the CDC is recommending the vaccine for everyone. Should my children, ages 6 and 12, get the vaccine? Is this next shot really safe? Answer: I think that it is really hard to understand why we have to continue to get…
Trying for a healthy diet – September 6, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am worried about the diet of my children. Both of my daughters tend to be very picky and refuse many foods that I want them to eat. They would rather watch the TV at dinner instead of eating the healthy meals I prepare. Then I get frustrated, and my husband says that…
Learning from History?
We need to learn from the past and advance the causes of social good, avoid the pitfalls along the way, and condemn the actions that take us backward.
Social capital is our WD-40
By considering social capital as our WD-40, we are ready to get things moving.
What to do about ADHD? – August 30, 2024
Dr. Bob: I fear that my 5-year-old son has ADHD. He seems to be on the go constantly. He has already been called out in kindergarten for being too loud and disruptive. His father said he had similar problems and struggled in school. What should I do? Is there a specialist who can help? Answer: …
War music – Really?
One might wonder why this music (“war” music) would resonate with me. Well, it reminds me of the sacrifice of these brave men.
Neonatal jaundice – August 23, 2024
Dr. Bob: My new baby, my third, had obvious jaundice. My first two babies were put under the lights for their jaundice. I expected the same for this child, but the doctor said that a new protocol was being used and that the lights were not necessary. I’m confused. Please explain. Answer: I can understand…
Lies and myths affecting children’s lives
Lies and myths that are perpetrated or sustained by adults cause significant harm to children.
Neighborhood children behavior – August 16, 2024
Dr. Bob: Our neighbor’s child tends to be a bully when she comes over to play with my children, ages 4 and 8. When the neighbor girl comes over to play in the backyard on our playground, she is just a mean girl, at the age of 6. My oldest daughter is a follower. When the…
Dr. Fauci to the rescue
Dr. Anthony (Tony) Fauci stands out as a real medical and science hero in my eyes.
Infant feeding and pooping – August 9, 2024
Dr. Bob: I get confused with infant feeding schedules. I know that every time my baby cries that they do not need to be fed but it can be hard to pick up on cues. Am I overfeeding or underfeeding my baby? Related to that, how often should my infant be pooping? Sometimes it seems…
LEGOs – Why? Regulation
In retirement, I have found a “happy place” building LEGO sets. It helps me regulate.
Protection from the sun – August 2, 2024
Dr. Bob: Our children are outside all of the time in the summer. Whether it’s the backyard pool, the neighborhood pool or the beach, they are out there with just their bathing suits on. I worry about sun exposure and its effect on their skin. What can I do to protect them from long term…
Forgiveness is so hard
I have learned over my forgiveness journey that our humanity usually gets in the way of this process.
Protecting children in the heat – July 26, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am worried about my children playing out in the summer heat. They want to be outside, and I want them to get exercise. But when the heat index is so high, I worry about them getting heatstroke. Plus, my oldest son is playing football and they practice in the intense heat sometimes. …
Denialism is so corrosive
Denying the plight of others and ignoring ways to help them is so corrosive to the fabric of our society. We cannot let up on the repudiation of denialism.
Challenges with grandparents – July 19, 2024
Dr. Bob: My in-laws and I seem to have a lot of disagreements about parenting and other issues about the children. I don’t want to get into arguments but also know that we are the parents and their interference can lead to tension between my husband and me. Do you have any suggestions on how…
January 28, 1986 – Trust misplaced
The Challenger disaster is not just a NASA failure but one characteristic of any enterprise where people interact with people.
Divorce and children – July 12, 2024
Even though divorce is very common, that does not diminish the difficulties that children can have with the adjustment.
Rick is a force of nature
The force of nature known as Rick Guidotti has a powerful message for us.
Nightmares and night terrors – July 5, 2024
Nightmares and night terrors are fairly common childhood sleep problems.
Teamwork and children
Children that are helped by different teams in our community can grow up to be good citizens and future team members.
Handling Grief – June 28, 2024
Dr. Bob: Our family recently experienced the loss of a loved one. This has been difficult for everyone, especially my children. I am not sure how to deal with this issue with the children. There is no way to shield them from this since we are a very close-knit family. What advice do you have?…
Is Parenting Innate?
There are too many complicating factors for parenting to be innate and too many factors that affect the ability of adults to be the best parents that they can be.
Spitting up – June 21, 2024
Dr. Bob: My newborn infant seems to spit up too much. Everything I do doesn’t seem to make a difference. I am worried that she is losing weight. Everyone is recommending changing formula since it is obvious that she must be allergic to this formula. What is your advice? Answer: Thank you for this question. …
Is history the path forward?
History is the path forward if we choose to improve our lives, improve the lives of our families, and the life of our communities.
Thumb sucking – June 14, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am concerned that my three-year-old still sucks her thumb at night and when stressed. Occasionally she will do it in public. Will it continue too long if I don’t do something now? Will it harm her teeth, and will she need braces because of it? Answer: You are describing behavior that is…
Forgiveness – “Are we there yet?”
Like our children ask on the highway, “are we there yet?” is an applicable question for our own forgiveness journey.
Water safety – June 7, 2024
We are now entering the summer months and the safety of our children is so important.
October 14, 1960 – a call to selfless service
Inspiration rarely arises anew. We often say that it does but only because we do not recognize the fertile ground that has been prepared.
Newborn head size – May 31, 2024
Dr. Bob: My newborn has a misshapen head. Everyone says that it will be okay, but I am worried since it looks so different as this time. Plus, her soft spot seems to be so big. When should I get worried? Answer: This question is a very common one. When you think about it, it…
The Aspen Effect
I have always had a fascination with aspen trees. These glorious trees have so many aspects that I have subsequently discovered and found instructive.
Breastfeeding – May 24, 2024
Why do I strongly support breastfeeding? Three basic reasons – it is best for the baby; it is best for the mother; and it is the most nurturing way to feed your baby.
Caste – What now? (Part III)
A world without caste would set everyone free.
Newborn screening tests – May 17, 2024
Dr. Bob: We are about to have our first baby. I have heard my friends talk about the blood test that is done on the baby to screen for various problems. Do I have to have it done? Does it hurt? Answer: I am so glad that you asked. Since I spent my career as…
Caste – Inaction is action (Part II)
I would argue that their inaction was an action in and of itself. Choosing to do nothing or ignore the problems at hand is an action that allows or permits the permanent erosion of fulfilling our responsibility to others.
Sore throat – May 10, 2024
Dr. Bob: My kindergartner has recurrent sore throats. I go to the doctor frequently for these and only one time was it a strep throat. When should I consider having his tonsils removed? His older sister also has frequent sore throats, but she seemed to grow out of it. Answer: Sore throat is the common…
Caste – A purposeful system of exclusion (Part I)
Acknowledging Ms. Wilkerson’s challenge that the systemic racism in America is more than color-based and purposely places certain groups of people over others, eventually subjugating the others to a lower caste, is a crucial first step.
Rashes in a child – May 3, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am very worried about periodic rashes in my 2-year-old daughter. They seem to be very itchy and tend to get very irritated. The skin seems to be thicker in certain areas. Should I be worried? What could be causing the rash? Answer: Let me preface my remarks by saying that I would…
AGE-ing or SAGE-ing?
All too often we treat our senior citizens as our elderly, not our elders. Despite the loss of some physical and mental capabilities, our elders should come to terms with their declining physical capabilities and accept expanded mental potential, spiritual renewal, and greater social usefulness.
Teen curfews – April 26, 2024
Dr. Bob: I don’t know when to set a curfew for my teenager. I remember that my parents set a curfew that I thought was too early. What do you think is a reasonable time? Does it change with age? What if his friends have a different curfew? Answer: The whole concept of curfew is…
Tears – Cleansing Properties
Tears are so important in our lives. While we might try to stifle them at times (to keep our emotions in check and/or to avoid embarrassment), I would argue that it is healthy and therapeutic to let the tear duct gland overproduce and to overflow the tear duct with overt tears noted around the eyes or on the face.
Teens and social media – April 19, 2024
Dr. Bob: I know that my teenage daughter spends far too much time on social media. I read about all of the negative things that can happen. How can I control her use of social media? How can I help guide her through the combination of the turbulent teen years and now social media? Answer: …
Profiles in Courage
It is up to us now to continue the diligent journey to protect humanity from its own inhumanity. Their profiles in courage should be examples for us.
“Bad” public behavior – April 12, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am so embarrassed when I take my 4-year-old son out in public, like to the grocery store, and he has a temper tantrum. He screams and makes quite a scene. Do you think he has attention deficit disorder? Answer: I can appreciate your question. So many parents in my career have dealt…
Remember redlining?
The sinister implications of this social engineering practice have had consequences since its initial use and persist to this day.
Cancer in a parent – April 5, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am being treated for cancer. Like Princess Kate, I am very concerned about how to tell my children and how to deal with active treatment that might affect my parenting. Both of my children are under 10 so I anticipate a tough time with trying to tell them. What is your advice?…
Forgiveness – A Requisite Life Skill
Forgiveness is an essential part of human existence. Without the ability to forgive, we could not make progress.
Guns at home – March 29, 2024
Dr. Bob: I read about accidental deaths in children due to guns it seems like every day. We have guns at our house, but my husband assures me that they are unloaded or locked up. We have two children, ages 3 and 6. What precautions should we take to be sure that they are…
Is the goal happiness?
I think parents should aspire for their children to be good citizens. Caring, loving, sharing, helping and nurturing are the key operational words…then, they will be happy.
Sound exposure – March 22, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am very concerned about what I am hearing about sound exposure in children. I see children and teens everywhere with earbuds, I presume listening to music. Or I see children playing video games with earbuds in. My own children have earbuds for when they are in public. What advice do you have…
WOKE – I’m in!
If woke is being “aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice),” then count me in.
Measles in children – March 15, 2024
Dr. Bob: I am concerned about the spread of measles in Florida and some other states. Could it spread to South Carolina and do I need to be worried? My children have received both of their measles shots but some of their classmates have not. Could they still get it? Answer: Your concerns are…
A Joyous Journey
I wasn’t sure what retirement would be like. I knew that I would be “retiring” but vowed to not withdraw from service to children and families.1 My commitment to advocacy could not be time-limited. I could not withdraw from the work at hand. But it would be different. When I was working, I felt that…
Screen time in early childhood – March 8, 2024
Dr. Bob: I just read that children are exposed to too much screen time in early life. I see little children everywhere holding smart phones or tablets watching something. I worry about my grandchildren having too much screen time. What can I tell my daughter and son-in-law about the hazards of screen time? Answer: Modern…
Conscious Parenting – Basic Traits
I am convinced that we are never really done “parenting,” even for folks without children or with grown children.
Bedtime for children – March 1, 2024
Dr. Bob: Bedtime continues to be a real struggle at our house. Our 3-year-old daughter keeps pushing back the time to go to bed and comes up with every excuse that she can. We are tired and want to get her settled down. What suggestions do you have? Answer: We have all had this problem…
Heart break continues
The heart break of gun violence continues. Early in 2024, there were more mass shootings than days in the year.
Frequent ear infections in children – February 23, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 18-month-old son is having a lot of ear infections. At times, it seems like he is having one continuous ear infection. I have heard about the benefit of ear tubes to prevent ear infections, but I worry about poking a hole in the eardrum. What is your advice? Answer: Early in my…
Communal parenting
When we fail our children, we fail our communities and ourselves. We have a communal responsibility to all of the children in our communities.
Acne in children – February 16, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 12-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter are in the midst of developing acne. At times things seem to be under control and other times the flare-ups are quite frustrating. I had bad acne myself as a teenager, and I would really like to treat this the best way possible. I know how frustrating…
Conscious parenting – Basic tools
Instruction, engagement, and involvement are mandatory elements of the process that is parenting beyond the basic nurturing of our children.
Pain in young athletes – February 9, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 10-year-old daughter loves her soccer. Every so often, she complains of knee pain and ankle pain. How do I know when she should rest? How do I know when to treat these aches and pains or go to the doctor? Is there such a thing as too much practice? Answer: Your questions…
Science and faith: a wondrous mix
The wondrous mixture of science and faith makes us stronger when we embrace it and use it to improve our lives, to improve the lives of others, and the life of our communities.
Infant Co-sleeping – February 2, 2024
Dr. Bob: I have heard that sleeping with your infant is dangerous. My daughter-in-law sleeps with her 3-month-old baby, and I am very concerned. She says that it makes breastfeeding in the middle of the night so much easier, but I have read that there is a real danger associated with co-sleeping. What can I…
Catch!
The game of catch is really the universal exchange of human emotions that should occur in almost any interaction.
Fever in children – January 26, 2024
Dr. Bob: Fever in my child scares me. When she gets sick and runs a fever, I worry about seizures and serious infection. She is now 6 years old and has fewer high fevers, but she had many when she was very young. Is there a possibility of brain damage? I know that I will…
Acts of kindness, seeds of hope and flowers of love
Nicolai’s act of kindness was non-random. It was purposeful. He embraced that higher power in each of us.
Teenage issues and HPV vaccine – January 19, 2024
Dr. Bob: My 12 year-old-twins have a check-up due soon. Since I have one boy and one girl, I know that there will be different issues for each child to address. But I have heard that they both should get the HPV shot. I worry about that shot. I have heard that there are numerous…
Communal forgiveness
Group apologies are extremely important. Sometimes that is the only way we can move forward in our society as we analyze our individual actions and our social actions.
Vaping – January 12, 2024
Dr. Bob: I have seen my teenage son’s friends vaping. I am worried about him picking up the habit. What should I be worried about? I think that it is not healthy and should be avoided. Answer: You are correct that vaping is not healthy. It is addictive, dangerous and to be avoided. Let me…
Civility Matters
Civility is key to social interactions. It provides the interweaving fabric that keep us together.
Trampolines and cigarette exposure – January, 5, 2024
Dr. Bob: My nephew, age 10, got a trampoline for Christmas. His parents made sure to get the side netting and protective pads over the springs. My children, ages 5 and 8, cannot wait to go over and play. What are your thoughts and how can I be sure to keep things safe for my…
Toxins to avoid in 2024
New Year’s resolutions can be “to do” things but I think this year for me, it will be to acknowledge serious toxins and toxic situations.
Babysitting and bike helmets – December 29, 2023
Dr. Bob: My child has a very hard time accepting babysitters. My husband and I really need to get out and have some time “date” time. Any suggestions for ways to ease the transition? Answer: This is an interesting dilemma. There are no one-size-fits-all for this issue. There are so many possible variables – how…
Visited by an angel…twice
These angels in my life manifested for a purpose. I am intent to be faithful to that purpose
The hazards of co-sleeping for infants and sleepwalking – December 22, 2023
Dr. Bob: My infant daughter is having problems getting to sleep. We have “survived” colic (she grew out of it) but now she sleeps with me. Is that ok? Somebody told me that I shouldn’t do that, but I need to get my sleep. Answer: Your question highlights multiple issues about infant sleeping. I can…
Trust is the currency of social interaction
We all want our currency of our social interactions – trust – to be valued. This currency only accrues value if we invest in the efforts and accept our ongoing responsibility.
Simple? It should be!
Simple, vague or decontextualized words and deeds are not simple, vague or decontextualized if applied for the good and well-being of others.
Biting other children – December 8, 2023
Dr. Bob: My 2-year-old son will often bite other children in the daycare at church. I am so embarrassed. My other children never did that. He bit my husband once, and he popped him. While I know that he shouldn’t have done that, my son has not bitten him since. What should I do? Answer:…
“Better is good” – incremental steps forward
“Better is good, and better is actually a lot harder than worse.”
Assessing development – December 1, 2023
Dr. Bob: I am worried that my 16-month-old grandson is behind in his development. He has barely started walking and falls frequently. Plus, he only says a few words. What should we do? Answer: It is appropriate for you to be concerned as we want our children to be on target and assessed if they…
Guns – let’s do something
It is time for all of us to pledge to make the changes needed.
Getting proper sleep for children and thumb-sucking – November 24, 2023
Dr. Bob: I can’t get my two children on a regular sleep schedule. My three-year-old wants to stay up until her 10-year-old brother goes to bed. I know that they each have different sleep requirements. How do I set the schedules and get things settled down at night? Answer: Your question has several aspects so…
Vulnerability Makes Us Strong
At first blush, the trait of vulnerability would appear to be a moral failing or weakness. I would argue to the contrary.
Dealing with a sassy 4-year-old – November 17, 2023
Dr. Bob: My 4-year-old son seems to have picked up some of his older brother’s stubbornness. He has even found it funny to use words he knows that we do not approve of. I know that I shouldn’t threaten to wash his mouth out but am at wit’s end. Please help! Answer: Your problem is…
Civil rights struggles and 2020 election denials
Children learn from adults and if they learn that wanton disregard for the rule of law and that not being empathetic toward others are acceptable behaviors, we have failed.
One-year-old throwing food – November 10, 2023
Dr. Bob: My one-year-old daughter will throw her food from her highchair. My family thinks it’s cute but at the end of a busy day, I don’t since I have to clean it up. What advice do you have? Answer: I completely understand your problem. I’m sure that she is smiling and probably laughing as…
The injustices of poverty
The war on poverty should not just be a financial one. The war on poverty needs to be an all-inclusive one bringing justice to all.
What Have I Learned?
If the families that I saw derived some benefit from my care over the course of my career, I had to acknowledge that I derived even more benefit from my interactions with them.
5-2-1-0 to enhance health; sleeping problems – October 27, 2023
Dr. Bob: I am worried about my child’s weight. I read so much about too many children being overweight and all of the concerns about pre-diabetes. Do you have any suggestions? Answer: You are right to be concerned. Multiple factors appear to be contributing to increased weight in too many children. Less exercise, less healthy…
“Seasons of Love” – One minute at a time
Abundant friends and love can make us “wealthy” and our lives fulfilled if we consider each minute (all 525,600 of them) in a year a chance to exhibit a season of love.
How do I handle colic? – October 20, 2023
Dr. Bob: My grandson seems to have fits of crying that are difficult for any of us to control. I remember his mother having colic, but this seems so much worse. What can his mother do? How can I help her? Answer: Indeed, you seem to be describing colic. We don’t really know what causes…
Selfishness
Selfishness does not and will not serve us well. We must recommit to the principles of the American dream and reject the notion of us vs. them.
Handling temper tantrums – October 13, 2023
Dr. Bob: My young son seems to have too many temper tantrums at home. He is 3 years old so I can’t say that it’s just the “terrible twos.” How do I deal with them and get him to calm down? Answer: In my experience of over four decades in pediatrics, this is one of…
Conflict Resolution by Rational Discourse
Conflicts will always be present so we must be able learn the lessons of rational discourse. We need meaningful dialogues while listening and being sensible without demeaning others.
Allergies in children – October 6, 2023
Dr. Bob: Please discuss history of peanut allergies. Will peanut allergies diminish in future generations? Answer: Allergies in children are an annoying problem for the child and the parents. And they are often misdiagnosed and misunderstood. Many ailments are misattributed to allergies, and some ailments are unrecognized to be due to allergies. So, before…
Lessons for us all, in our youth and beyond, thanks to DEAR EVAN HANSEN
Our job is to continually seek to understand others—and to understand that appearances can be deceiving.
Phones in schools – September 29, 2023
Dr. Bob: How do feel about children having mobile phones in schools? Answer: This is certainly a hot topic these days. But before I address the specifics of phones in schools, let’s talk about phones in general for children. Phones are different than other internet-connected devices. They are so much more portable (“mobile”) and, as…
“Horses were my mother’s religion”
Her love for horses was the perfect outlet for her creative energy and was the demonstrable way for her to show her love for so many things.
Sibling differences – September 22, 2023
Dr. Bob: How can two siblings who are raised in the same home behave so differently? Answer: This is an age-old question. How is it possible that two sibs, with the same parents and raised in the same household, behave so differently? My forty plus years of pediatrics experience has certainly demonstrated this phenomenon, and,…
Didn’t We All “Come From Away?”
I hope that the memories of 9/11 call up our “better natures”.
Talking with my child about cancer in a grandparent – September 15, 2023
Dr. Bob: How do I talk to my 7-year-old about their grandparent’s cancer diagnosis? I am worried about saying too much, but I want to be honest. Answer: I completely understand your concern. Let’s first acknowledge one thing – I suspect that you are very worried about this diagnosis yourself. Whether the diagnosis of cancer…
The Cost of Lies
Lies have a cost because they multiply; because they tear at our social fabric; because they can become unrecognizable.
Handling childhood snoring and constipation – September 8, 2023
Dr. Bob: My 5-year-old snores. Should I be worried? Answer: There are multiple causes for snoring in children. Most of them are self-limited but when snoring persists, medical attention should be sought. Since snoring is usually related to partial obstruction of the nasal passages and upper airways, one of the most common causes is an…
Teachers Affect Eternity
At all levels of education, teachers have provided the stability needed for life-long learning and fueled an enthusiasm for life-long learning.
How do I handle my child’s anxiety? – September 1, 2023
Dr. Bob: My seven-year-old is anxious. Should she see a counselor? Answer: This is an excellent question. We are currently in a pediatric mental health crisis – too many children are manifesting anxiety or depression and too few services are available. If you are concerned that your child’s anxiety is comprising her ability to function…
Ban Corporal Punishment in Schools
Corporal punishment has no demonstrable positive effects. In the short-term, the child might be fearful or obedient, but in the long-term, there is no consistent improvement in behavior.
Managing Sibling Rivalry – August 25, 2023
Dr. Bob: How do you manage “sibling rivalry?” Answer: This is a very broad question. One can address this question from the newborn period (when a newborn comes home and, all of a sudden an older child has competition for affection) or later in childhood (from preschool rivalries to teenage squabbles). Let me address this…
The lessons of tyranny for parenting
Being a tyrant is the exact opposite of being a conscious parent that understands the give-and-take of effective parenting and is willing to adapt as needed to change.
How do I get my child to stop stalling? – August 18, 2023
Dr. Bob: I have a next level dawdler, taking forever to get things done. Everything my 5-year-old does takes a significant amount of encouragement and coaxing and finally “the countdown.” I hate how frustrated I get. I don’t want the threat of lost privileges to be the only thing that finally gets her going. Any…
Ladders of Love
Ladders of love are critical for our children. They provide the support as the children and families lift themselves from the trauma to a pathway toward restoration, resilience and flourishing in the days and years ahead.
The gaps that should be filled
The gaps that we ignore in history only serve to perpetuate false nostalgia or continue a false narrative.
I embrace science – you should also
Science matters—it improves lives, it tells us when we need to make changes and it provides a blueprint how to help children and their families.
Friend or parent?
Parents can be a friend for their children. These two concepts mix together quite nicely when executed in good faith.
Are we ready for life-long learning?
Active, involved citizens are life-long learners. It takes a significant commitment to be a life-long learner.
Pause, Assess, then Choose
Good citizenship is the hallmark of a civil society. And should be the goal of parenting. Pausing, assessing and choosing correct responses will be the ticket to our success.
The Correctness of political correctnesss
Political correctness is ok and necessary in my view. It serves to adjust our moral compass on an episodic basis.
My Three Moms and SSNRs
I am firm believer that we are never done developing, and I hope that the nurturing from my three moms and their SSNRs will continue to be the beacon for me going forward.
“Wasn’t Me”
It is our duty to not say “wasn’t me” but to say it “was us.” Only then can we seek to be a part of the solution going forward instead of being entrenched in the past.
Parenting and “flip-flopping”
I will continue to seek change as positive, not as “flip-flopping,” and embrace my maturation. I encourage all parents to do the same.
Somewhere…
The folks seeking refuge or asylum coming to our country or those seeking relief within our country should be treated with respect and given every opportunity possible.
Memorial Day and patriotism
Displays of patriotism without the requisite actions are incomplete in my estimation.
Raising Young Citizens in the Age of Columbine
Healthy children (physically, mentally, educationally, financially and socially) are good citizens. Healthy children are our future.
Spoiled or Nurtured?
To say that parents or other caregivers are spoiling children when they are nurturing children is to ignore basic needs and conflate some behaviors as being spoiled.
Avoiding Genocide
Raphael Lemkin was right to be on a crusade and warn us all about the possibilities of genocide. It is up to us now to continue the diligent journey to protect humanity for its own inhumanity.
“Measure twice, cut once”
“Measure twice, cut once” has broad application. If we don’t consider the response of our words and deeds (“measure twice”), the actions (“cut once”) will often put your relationships in jeopardy and make reconciliation very difficult going forward.
To Kill a Mockingbird revisited
Isn’t it interesting how the words, deeds and actions of children can have a dramatic positive effect on the behavior of adults?
Children as our teachers
At the end of the day, we must analyze our reflections in our children and feel good about it. If not, we should use these reflections to change our behavior in a positive way. Let the children be our teachers.
S-Words that I Dislike and Love
Our words and deeds define our ability to work together for the common good. Let’s be mindful of our choice of words and our actions so that we can move forward, not backward.
Fueled by hate, the list goes on and on
The perpetuation of hate must stop but will only stop when we say “enough” and stop becoming desensitized.
President Lincoln, thank you
President Abraham Lincoln stands out as one of our greatest presidents, especially given his tenure during our troubled times during the Civil War. Vilified by some but praised by most, his legacy has stood the test of time with continued scrutiny and analysis 160 years after his years as our president.
Discipline does not equal punishment
The intrinsic problem with equating discipline with punishment is a misunderstanding of the meaning of discipline. The word discipline comes from a root word meaning to teach or instruct.
Birmingham, AL (1963) – Children at play?
The children in Birmingham AL peacefully protested segregation, segregation with its inherent unequal education and unequal economic opportunity, and were greeted with violence.
My Children’s Children?
My Children’s Children was therefore chosen as the title to give a voice (sometimes more of a shout!) on behalf of my children, my grandchildren, my patients and their children, and all children.
Thoughts on Medical Trust
The brewing distrust for medicine and science that has bubbled up, especially during the pandemic, only serves to diminish health care (acute, chronic, supportive and preventive). The public needs to trust the medical profession.
WOKE – Count me in
If woke is being “aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice),” then count me in.
The Pediatric Way
I am proud to be part of a movement that sees the importance of treating all children as our valuable resources to be nurtured and cherished.
Tears – Rinsing our psyches
Tears are so important in our lives. Let’s let them rinse our emotions – grieving together, celebrating together, being nonjudgmental – as we support each other.
M&Ms…(and M&M&Ms)
Sages can use their lifetime of experience by being positive contributors to the community and continuing to provide purpose to their own lives.
Grace – A Gift or A Journey?
To accept the grace of God and others might be our fate but to make it meaningful requires us to be on a journey to accept that grace and pass it on.
The Strength of Social Capital
Social capital refers to good will, fellowship, sympathy, and social intercourse among individuals and families.
Happiness for children
Caring for each other is the hallmark of caring citizens…and the path to happiness. What a beautiful trail to lead our children down.
Laughter and tears are potent salves
We should be looking for salves (anything that soothes or relieves) in our interactions with our children.
Are we asking the right questions?
Asking the right question – “What happened to you” – allows us to switch the focus from blaming children for their behavior to a place of understanding and allows us to be more impactful with our attempts at helpful interventions.
The Challenge of Mercy
Mercy is that peculiar quality that at times seems ephemeral (transient, temporary) yet pervasive in its calling.
“Light-bulb” Moments
Epiphanies, revelations, or “light-bulb” moments are sometimes easy to recognize but, more often than not, are only noticed after the fact.
Timeless Christmas gifts
This holiday season, let’s consider the gifts of substance as the most important gifts to share with our children and family. Gifts of substance are those that have lasting value and are often considered timeless. These are gifts that touch the heart and soul of human interactions, the essence of the bond between parent and child.
Lack of Sportsmanship = Lack of Civility
The example of sportsmanship sets the stage for positive community improvement. Sportsmanship demonstrates love for others, respect, and honesty.
How to Move Forward
While we often have a tough time dealing with forgiveness for painful issues (personal, business, social, or community), we can still move on making sure we don’t let our confusion cloud our actions. We must work together, taking communal responsibility, to improve the life of our community.
Critical factors for parenting
We should never assume that parents don’t need help “navigating the maze” that we call parenthood. We all need help and should never be embarrassed to ask.
Why Mentors Matter – A Tribute to Dr. Sam Katz
He was an experienced and trusted advisor, but he was so much more. His mentorship set the stage for multiple aspects of my career.
The toxicity of hate
Hate evokes such a powerful emotion that its toxicity affects our own thoughts, our interpersonal relationships (partner, family, friends) and our social relationships.
“With malice toward none, with charity for all”
Lincoln knew the only way to rebuild and move forward, was to accept the common responsibility for the problems of the day (“with malice toward none”) and work together to improve from this time forward (“with charity for all”).
“You’ve got a Friend in Me” – Woody Rides Again
“You’ve got a friend in me” only works if we accept the responsibility that goes with it.
Racial inequity – It cannot be whitewashed
Racism is a problem for all but particularly children. Those affected are raised in an environment that has lifetime effects and usually multiple effects across generations. The easy thing to do is to sit back and just hope that society does better. But those that care for children are not allowed that “luxury.” They must engage to make a difference.
Revisiting My Father – Thanks to Fred Rogers
Being mindful of those around us and accepting them and their humanity is so crucial to our lives. The lessons of Mr. Rogers are pertinent to me, at every stage of my life.
It takes a village – it really does!
There is an African proverb stating that “it takes a village to raise a child” implying that a local (or even broader) community of people need to work together along with a child’s parents to raise a child to their maximum potential.
I Might Be Getting Older But…
Elders need to get involved as sages. Sages are elders who choose to use their experience in life for the betterment of their fellow citizens.
Why Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is an essential trait to human existence. The ability to forgive allows us to move on in our lives, progressing from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. Forgiveness is therefore a fundamental developmental step in our lives.
Why this pediatrician decided to write books
Pediatrics is a great medical specialty. Its impact on its practitioners and on patients and their families can be long lasting. For me, the impact has been enormous. I have felt that I have a tremendous responsibility to children and their families. The practice of pediatrics has made me a better person.
Parallels between civil rights legal struggles and 2020 election denials
It is quite plain to me that the early segregationists and their perversion of the rule of law are eerily similar to the attempt by some prominent politicians to subvert the rule of law with the attack on the Capitol and the continued attack on our laws and the Constitution.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR
Love for thy neighbor is really tough for all of us, if we are honest with ourselves. Yet total disregard for this holy instruction makes a mockery of public service and tears at the moral fabric of the country when it is allowed to continue and accepted as the new norm.
Thoughts from a Proud “Flip-Flopper”
I proudly accept the fact that I have changed my opinion and have “flip-flopped.” I would argue that I have not flip-flopped but rather have made a reasoned decision based on a lifetime of experience and moral conviction.
Labels—Merchandise, yes; People, no
Labels can have specific roles and functions. They can provide information as needed to make decisions about purchases. On merchandise, they can be helpful signaling certain measures of quality, perceived or real. But labels have no place in describing people.
Lessons from Moon Visitors
“We don’t go to heaven when we die, we go to heaven when we’re born.”
A Selfish Agenda
Selfishness does not and will not serve us well. We must recommit to the principles of the American dream and reject the notion of us vs. them.
“Show the world all the love in your heart”
I just adore the words in the Carole King song, BEAUTIFUL.
The lessons of Gross Anatomy linger
Though now clinically retired, I am forever indebted to the profession of medicine and how I have hopefully helped others and how so many others (colleagues and patients) have helped me. And I am particularly indebted to the early donor for my anatomy experience.
To Kill a Mockingbird meets Friday Night Lights
Great literature tells us stories that are timeless and remind us of our responsibility to our fellow citizens. Often children are the messengers of these messages.
What is Patriotism?
Patriotism is not passive. Patriotism requires action.
The Power of Vulnerability
Being vulnerable when practicing forgiveness is a strength and one to accept as a strength when dealing when others. I applaud the strength of vulnerability, acknowledge its power, and encourage others to do the same.
Bui Doi – They are all our children, too
If we cannot see our common humanity, then I dare say we have lost our own humanity.
Adversity, resilience, and flourishing – Oh my!
There is a path forward from adversity. Resilience and flourishing to help establish SSNRs and using the tools of relational health can help clear that path.
How to leave a “Columbine-world”
We are now over twenty-three years post Columbine. My journey continues
Incivility
“There is a cultural obsession nowadays with civility, with the idea that if everyone is mannered enough, any impasse or difference of opinion can be bridged. But these are desperately uncivil times. And there is nothing more uncivilized than the political establishment’s inurement to the constancy of mass shootings in the United States.”
Better is Good
When I look back at the life of Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. or John Lewis, I realize by their words and actions that “better is good” was often the next acceptable step, and that “better is actually a lot harder than worse” was so true.
Why a pediatrician (and son) decided to write books
While pediatricians do not use holy water in their interactions, they do invest an incredible amount of professional experience and emotional energy as they engage in a partnership with their families.
Our Children are Ill: Should we treat the symptoms or the cause?
Let’s address all children as our children and promote policies and practices that support the formation and maintenance of safe, stable and nurturing relationships.
MERCY
Whether engaged in medical service as a physician or community service as a citizen, we need to let mercy be our guide and let compassion and forbearance lead us forward.
Horses were my mother’s religion
My mother was a very devout person. Her love for horses was the perfect outlet for her creative energy and was the demonstrable way for her to show her love for so many things.
NEVER AGAIN? NOT REALLY
Lies are costly. Lies have a cost because they multiply; because they tear at our moral fabric; because they can become unrecognizable.
Science and Children: What’s the Big Deal?
Science matters—it improves lives, it tells us when we need to make changes and it provides a blueprint how to help children and their families.
Why? Because I care about children
Yes, I might be overzealous in my work on their behalf, but I will be unapologetic. Why? Because I care about children.
Skepticism can erode trust
Only when we recognize the healthy aspects of being a skeptic (to keep us morally strong) and diminish the toxic aspects of being a skeptic (believing unverified information and breeding mutual suspicion) can begin to see our path forward. We have to be open to listen, carefully observe and course correct when needed.
Receiving trust requires give and take
Trust is such a difficult issue to discuss at times. We all want to be trusted, and we want to able to trust others. I refer to the former as projecting trust and the latter as receiving trust.
Staying “true” to the truth – Moral courage
the ability to hold our ground and stay the course and to let right triumph over might displays the moral courage necessary to stay true to the truth. We will all waver at times, so this is a difficult virtue to uphold.
The toxin of poverty and children—a way out?
Poverty is a harmful toxin in the lives of children. It is a lifelong environmental toxin that affects children in the short-term and the long-term.
Conflict Resolution by Rational Discourse
The ability to resolve conflict in civilized society is probably not an innate ability. We have to be taught how to do it. We need to see positive role models in our parents, family members, employers, teachers, and fellow citizens.
“Professional” lessons learned
Recently I was asked to write an article about my professional journey. When I was completing that, I took the time to highlight 5 lessons learned. As I detail them below, I also realize that they have applicability to all of our social interactions and that every day is a day to learn and improve.
Truth-seeking is a humbling journey
Truth matters. It is not easy, and it is a journey that one must sincerely pursue…and humbly accept.
The Professional Road Less Traveled
One might ask what I have learned in my close to 50 years since college and foster parenthood being a pediatrician, medical geneticist, educator, administrator and author. I could create a long list, but I will choose just a few
Columbine revisited – again and again
These measures are no guarantee that school shootings will be eliminated. It is time for all of us to pledge to make the changes needed. Life is complicated, and bad things will continue to happen. But just accepting the death of children as inevitable and extending “thoughts and prayers” to the families is reprehensible when corrective measures are available.
Somewhere…
If we use our strengths and seek to improve where we can, then we begin to get to that somewhere, somehow and some day. That is our joint humanity.
The Correctness of Political Correctness
Political correctness is ok and necessary in my view. It serves to adjust our moral compass on an episodic basis. Not only is it a good thing, it is a necessary component of a civil society and democracy such as ours. After all, civility is the hallmark of citizens of faith. Citizens of faith care about how they treat each other.
To Be Unconscious or Conscious – That is the Parenting Question
There are two ways to be a parent—unconscious or conscious. Like most things in life, this is not a binary choice. It is both. I contend that we vacillate back and forth continually as we try to maneuver this journey called parenting.
Em (“within”) – Pathos (“suffering”): Empathy Revisited
To practice empathy, I have to use my own strengths and weaknesses to reach out, gently peek behind the curtain, be humble, and pursue a course of active engagement.
The everyday lessons of genocide
The lessons of genocide are unfortunately the lessons of everyday life. We need to listen long and hard to those lessons so we can improve our community and the community of humankind.
Personal responsibility in our community
Getting involved in our community in some tangible way is crucial for positive change. Change will only occur when citizens commit to get involved in the issues in their community.
The gaps…oh, the gaps
The gaps that we ignore in history only serve to perpetuate false nostalgia or continue a false narrative. When doing so, we continue to deny what defines our history.
TRUST AND FAITH…AND LOVE
I think the intersection of trust, faith and love is very much a part of the practice of medicine and reasonably shared by an elder in his community.
Forgiveness – Field of Dreams style
Forgiveness is essential as we strive to improve ourselves and the lives of our fellow citizens. Let’s pay attention to the signs (church, movies, and music to name a few) that can provide the guideposts for us to recognize our current situation and make a positive change. This change (forgiving ourselves first) must occur before we can make a difference.
This I Believe – Parenting Matters
The power of the influence of our parents is incalculable. They can provide the platform for our actions and the actions of generations to come.
Parenting and maps
Parenting is sometimes considered an innate process to raise one’s children to be capable adults—that everything is straightforward and will easily fall into place over the years from birth to adulthood. Conceiving children does not properly prepare us for the nurturing, physical and emotional, needed to raise healthy children.
Sages can make a difference
As we age, we can choose to be elderly or become elders. In the former role, we tend to accept the physical and mental changes and just lament their presence as inevitable. In the latter role, we are not “age-ing” per se but hopefully “sage-ing.” As a sage, we are using our collective experience to help provide advice and potential wisdom to others.
The tale of three opposites
More often than not, we know the things we should be doing. I can recall many times when knowing something still did not translate into positive actions on my part. When that happens, I have found that looking at opposites can be helpful.
It’s a free country
Freedom is not really ours. It is a gift, and we must use that gift wisely. Great sacrifices have been made on our behalf. And we must honor those sacrifices.
DEAR EVAN HANSEN has lessons for us all, beyond our youth
The Broadway musical “Dear Evan Hansen” deals with issues confronted in the angst of adolescence and about learning how to deal with these issues. But these lessons are life-long issues—they are just more dramatic during adolescence and the emotions needed to deal with them then are often more exposed. So, it is appropriate to relook at the lessons and add an additional adult perspective
What to Say to Someone Who Lost a Child
I know from experience the anguish that families experience with the loss of a child. Whether the circumstances include a previously healthy child who died from a tragic accident or a child with a chronic health condition who succumbed to their disease, families are never really prepared for their loss. They need our support, especially when we might be uncomfortable and not know what to say.
Save Our Children!
The abuse and neglect of our children is preventable. Children, our most precious resource for the future and our most vulnerable group of people, deserve our protection.
Forgiveness is essential
Forgiveness is essential to human existence. The ability to forgive allows us to move on in our lives, progressing from childhood to adolescence to adulthood.
Trust is the currency of social interaction
I don’t think it is an exaggeration to state that “trust is the currency of social interaction”—that trust is the basis of how we can make our words and deeds worthy of the privilege of serving others or the privilege of telling others of what we think they should be doing.
COMMUNITY IS FAMILY
We must remember that our community is our family. Often when we think in ‘a business way’ we tend to lose sight of this big picture. We need to constantly remind ourselves that the real business of business is people.
Is Truth-telling Important?
Truth-telling is an essential skill for personal life, for interpersonal social interactions, for community activities, and for governmental decision-making.
The lessons of tyranny for parenting
Being a tyrant is the exact opposite of being a conscious parent that understands the give-and-take of effective parenting and is willing to adapt as needed to change. Tyranny has no place in society or in parenting. The lessons put forth by Professor Snyder are valuable reminders as we navigate the journey known as parenting.
The Chemistry of Community Improvement
I don’t think that it is a stretch to think of community improvement efforts in chemical way. New and enhanced efforts can result from the combination of simple “reactions” by individuals or groups.
A Pediatric Profile in Courage
I bring the story of this brilliant yet exceedingly humble pediatrician to our attention as a reminder that the work of protecting and enhancing the physical, social, educational, family and psychological environments of our children and families is the ongoing work of ALL of us.
WHAT REALLY MATTERS
I often ask myself “what really matters?” as I contemplate the path forward…I can engage as a citizen (seeking to help others), as a truth-seeker (on a journey of life-long learning and continuous improvement) and as an elder (having acquired an array of life-long experiences and seeking to use those in a positive fashion). Not being engaged is really not an option.
Do Pediatricians retire from public service?
The work of helping our children and families is ongoing. It demands our continued efforts. For those of us that retire from the workforce, we should never withdraw from our commitment to children. I pledge to continue the work!
Science and early child development
There are so many variables to be identified and analyzed for early childhood development. These variables are essentially the pieces of the “jigsaw puzzle” of life but do not in and of themselves dictate the future. But these variables can help us anticipate certain issues, be proactive as needed, be reactive when needed and intervene with support when it is needed.
“Our society isn’t fulfilling our promise to children”
The new AAP Blueprint for Children demands our full attention going forward. We can do no less.
CIVILITY MATTERS
Social discourse without civility is so ineffective and detrimental to our society.
Children as Our Teachers
Children are our best teachers! Listen and learn.
Foster Children Need Our Help
Children in foster care need our special attention and nurturing.
“Wasn’t me”
As we seek to solve current issues, a “wasn’t me” stance should be substituted with “was us”–and move forward.
Life-long learning – toward unconscious competence
Life-long learning is a guide to a life fulfilled.
Resilience is so important
The ability to receive help when we are down is key to developing resilience.
Communal forgiveness
Social responsibility (to improve the lives of our fellow citizens and to right past wrongs) is integrally tied to forgiveness.
Being better carpenters
“I don’t think that I can ever forgive you.” “You don’t mean it. You’re not really sorry.” “When will you ever learn?” Expressions such as these are repeated in households and workplaces everywhere every day of the week. We humans are social beings, and social beings interact. Interactions inevitably will lead to some conflict. I think our ability to resolve those conflicts…
Captain Miller to Private Ryan – “Earn This”
So many sacrificed so much for all of us…
I have been truly blessed—thank you Mom, Julie and Mabel!
Mothers come in all forms—birth mothers, stepmothers, foster mothers, caregiving mothers (often grandmothers or aunts) and mothers-in-law. Whether assuming the role from birth or stepping in at various junctures in the life of the child/adult, these women play a vital role throughout our lives.
ANTI-RACISM SHOULD BE THE GOAL
Racism can be replaced with anti-racism
Capital Punishment is Just Plain Wrong—Thoughts from a Proud Flip-Flopper
Capital punishment is wrong in my opinion. And it’s been a tough journey for me to come to that conclusion.
Labels—Merchandise, yes; People, no
Labels are not for people.
Revisiting my father
Being mindful of those around us and accepting them and their humanity is so crucial to our lives. The lessons of Mr. Rogers are pertinent to me, at every stage of my life. His messages are certainly for more than children!
525,600 Seasons of Love
Abundant friends and love can make us “wealthy” and our lives fulfilled if we consider each minute (all 525,600 of them) in a year a chance to exhibit a season of love.