A lot of attention is being paid these days on how to nurture, protect and improve the lives of our children. On one hand, such activity seems intuitive and straight-forward and easy to solve. On the other hand, too many children are falling through the cracks of our various social networks and “protection zones” so we need to do everything possible to correct any deficits. Science is leading the way and providing more precise interventions that will be impactful.
- Adversity—We now know that the greater the number of childhood adversities (specifically exposure to abuse, neglect and even household dysfunction [divorce, mental illness, substance abuse and more]) that children encounter in their early years will lead to an increased likelihood of smoking, alcoholism, obesity, promiscuity and substance abuse in adulthood. Add to that, there is an increased risk of hypertension, diabetes and heart disease also in adulthood. Early brain science (studying the wiring and the connections) confirms changes. Trauma-informed care can really help, but let’s decrease the number of adversities that children are exposed to. Easier said than done.
- Resilience—So if reducing the exposure to adversity is not so easy, how about if we learn how to build resilience in our children? Scientific research here is showing that resilience can be biologically embedded. An apt definition of resilience (Dr. Ann Masten) is that resilience is a dynamic process of positive adaptation to – or in spite of – significant adversity. And a recent report from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child suggests three principles to help enhance resilience – 1) reduce stressors, 2) strengthen the parent-child relationship, and 3) build skills to promote emotional and behavioral regulation and executive function. Adversity is all around us, at different levels of intensity and different levels of coping. Dealing with it can be very difficult for families as they try to use these three principles to enhance resilience.
- Flourishing—To consider our path forward, we also need to consider flourishing. This concept has a somewhat elusive definition but can be thought of as a developmental aspiration for positive things in our lives and includes thriving, even in the presence of adversity. So flourishing is not the absence of adversity but rather the ability to thrive, even in the presence of adversity. A recent study looking at family connection and flourishing factors found that greater family connection was associated with an increased likelihood of flourishing in adolescence. The implication here is that such connections might lead to thriving, not just the avoidance of negative outcomes.
We just briefly touched on adversity, resilience and flourishing? What is the connection (the “secret sauce”) that can help us enable children and families to thrive? Dr. Andy Garner eloquently reminds us that “the capacity to develop and sustain safe, stable nurturing relationships is ‘relational health.’” He further notes that “by meeting our basic needs (to feel safe, understood and valued), relational health turns off our body’s stress response and limits the long-term…consequences of significant adversity. Relational health is also the platform for learning the skills to cope with future adversity.”
The science behind relational health is also becoming clear. Simplistically, the power of the “secret sauce” of relational health is that it can help heal old scars and provide an effective platform going forward. Since safe, stable nurturing relationships (SSNRs) are crucial, the key to such will be using relational health (and its related tools) to care for all children and families.
When we recognize that all of the children are our children, we can become engaged in meaningful ways. Dr. Garner suggests that the initial steps should be 1) reconnection with self (being more mindful and a better role model), 2) reconnection with others in one-on-one relationships (being present with others), 3) reconnection with small groups that have a common purpose, and 4) reconnection with those in need (looking to make a positive difference in the lives of others and our communities).
So, there is a path forward from adversity. Resilience and flourishing to help establish SSNRs and using the tools of relational health can help clear that path. The science (biologic and social) is clear and now it is up to us collectively to make the difference.
References—
- Forkey HC, Griffin JL, Szilagyi M: Childhood Trauma and Resilience: A Practical Guide. AAP Publishing, 224 pp, 2021.
- Szilagyi M: Roadmap for building resilient children coming into focus. AAP News June 2022
- King TM, King RB: Addressing the need for better measures of positive health. PEDIATRICS Volume 149, June 2022.
- Whitaker RC, Dearth-Wesley T, Herman AN, van Wingerden AN, Winn DW: Family connection and flourishing among adolescents in 26 countries. PEDIATRICS Volume 149, June 2022.
- Garner AS: A remedy in turbulent times: Helping families build “relational health”. AAP Voices Blog, July 6, 2020.
- Garner AS, Saul RA: Thinking Developmentally: Nurturing Wellness in Childhood to Promote Lifelong Health. AAP publishing, 175 pp, 2018.