Dr. Bob: My child has a very hard time accepting babysitters. My husband and I really need to get out and have some time “date” time. Any suggestions for ways to ease the transition?
Answer: This is an interesting dilemma. There are no one-size-fits-all for this issue. There are so many possible variables – how old is the child? Are there several children? Is the babysitter a family friend or neighbor? Let me make a few suggestions.
- Depending on the age of the child, preparation is key. I would be sure to explain to the child(ren) that you will be going out on a certain night. I would explain why.
- Plan ahead so you can have certain items (games, movies or books) set aside that the children and the sitter can use.
- I would recommend feeding the children ahead of time unless you want them to have pizza or something simple like that with the sitter.
- If the sitter is not a close friend of the family or a neighbor, I would have the sitter meet the children before the night planned. This can help ease any possible tension.
- Make sure that the lines of communication are clear, especially since cell phones make it so easy to text.
- If the sitter is expected to put the child to bed, I would rehearse some of those steps ahead of time or when the sitter arrives.
- Be clear about the time you will be back. That assurance can put the sitter at ease as the night progresses.
- Probably the most important advice – put yourself in your child’s place. If you were still that age, how would you feel? What could your parents have done (when you were a child) to make this easier? Only then can you enjoy yourself on your date night.
The American Academy of Pediatrics has multiple resources on their website – www.healthychildren.org about babysitting. Check them out.
Dr. Bob: Our 7-year-old son refuses to wear his bicycle helmet. I tell him that it is so important, but he says it looks funny and he’s embarrassed to wear it in the neighborhood. What are your thoughts?
Answer: There are certain time when parents must take charge. This is one of them. He absolutely, positively should wear a helmet when riding a bike. Helmets provide protection to the skull and the delicate brain tissue. We do not want to take a chance and not have that protection. As I have always told children in the clinic when emphasizing the need for helmets, if you fall off a bike, “we can fix a broken bone, but we cannot fix a broken brain.”
When buying a bike, add the cost of the helmet into your planning so you get the two at the same time. Please be sure that the helmet is fit properly. Not everyone has the same size head. The helmet has to fit properly, and the chin strap needs to be cinched appropriately. As the parent, you need to be sure that everything fits correctly. Make sure that he knows the rules of the road and is looking for cars all the time.
My oldest son was a professional road cyclist in his youth. I remember one time he told me that his helmet cracked open with one accident. I would hate to think about his head without the helmet.
Remember, without the proper protection, your son should not be riding his bike. “Being cool” should never be more important than safety.
Dr. Saul is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health and his website is www.mychildrenschildren.com. Contact Dr. Bob at askdrbobsaul@gmail.com with more questions.