Dr. Bob: I am very concerned about how to deal with my children in the midst of the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. We have been without power for 5 days and making do with limited food and resources. Plus, we have to try and help my aging parents with dealing with the problems with house damage due to the hurricane. What advice do you have to help comfort the children?
Answer: This is such a great question since we often neglect to understand how frightened children are from significant disruptions in their lives. I’m sure that they heard the storm the night it struck and then looked outside to trees and power lines down everywhere. All of a sudden, their world has been turned upside down.
The American Academy of Pediatrics has some very helpful advice on the HealthyChildren.org website.
- Children tend to cope better when an honest explanation of what happened is provided. The information provided should be basic without complicated details.
- They need to be reassured that they will be protected from further damage and in your circumstance, that the family will also be taking care of their grandparents.
- Assure them that there is nothing that they did wrong to cause the storm and its damage.
- Reassure them that people are working on correcting the problems, but it might take a while and even longer depending on the extent of damage in the neighborhood and the town.
- They will not understand why the family cannot just go somewhere and get what they need. Remind them that many people and families will be in the same predicament and that you will have to work together with others to get what you need.
- Be sure to minimize media coverage in front of them. They are likely to get scared if they see images of significant damage and even injury. Reports of injuries and deaths remind us of the scope of the problem, but children should be shielded from such information.
- Keep open the lines of communication. Let them ask questions and use the guidelines above (honest, basic and to the point). Even if they do not ask questions, encourage them to ask questions and let them know it is okay to do so. Their imaginations can be so much worse than the reality.
- Let them know that it is okay to be upset and that the family will be working on this together and that you understand their emotions. Comfort them and try to let them engage in as many as possible of their regular activities. Reading, coloring, drawing and other play activities might help divert some of their attention and provide some degree of regulation in an otherwise chaotic situation.
- Please be mindful of your own emotions and mental health. As a parent, it is easy to assume an excessive burden that can make it difficult to provide for the family and deal with the crisis. Plus, we tend to understand the impact on others and appropriately worry about them. Give yourself some time to process the situation and freely express your emotions to a support person (spouse, parents, friends).
- If the situation allows, pitch in to help in the community through service, donations or something similar. If your situation does not permit that, do not feel guilty. You have to take care of yourself and your children first.
Your pediatrician is also available to answer questions or address concerns as they arise. They are there to help!
Dr. Saul is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health and his website is www.mychildrenschildren.com. Contact Dr. Bob at askdrbobsaul@gmail.com with more questions.