Dr. Bob: My daughter is turning 16 and desperately wants to drive. We have waited until she turns 16 to even have the discussion about driving. We know that insurance will be high but are even more worried about her attention to all of the factors needed to be a good driver. What advice do you have for us?
Answer: I agree that this time in a teenager’s life is an exciting one for them and a terrifying one for the parents. I went through this situation twice. I think that there are several things to keep in mind going forward.
- Driving a car is a privilege, not a right. That privilege can be revoked at any time, by the authorities for traffic violations and by the parents for certain disciplinary reasons. Remind her that she must continue to follow certain household rules to maintain the privilege.
- Driving a car is a tremendous responsibility. I think this fact is taken too lightly by everybody on the road. Every time I go out, I see people violating the rules of road (not signaling properly, not heeding traffic signs, running red lights). I worry about what can happen or when they will cause an accident.
- Every time you get into a car, you are now in a potential lethal weapon. I continually emphasized this with all of my teenage checkups in the office. You have to consider that one wrong move could cause a fatal accident that could affect one’s life forever. Such an accident will also affect the other family leaving a permanent scar/loss that cannot be reversed.
- We all make mistakes. I have made plenty of mistakes in judgment while driving over the years (“I can make that yellow light”, “I can pull out in time and not affect traffic”, “I don’t see someone in my blind spot; it must be ok to change lanes”) And teenagers are more likely to make these mistakes and more based on their inexperience and propensity to distraction.
- Remember that the adolescent brain is less developed and more likely to make errors in judgment. We need to constantly provide reminders about the importance of driving safely and paying attention to others on the road.
- Defensive driving should be the cardinal principle while on the road. One’s eyes should be constantly scanning for potential hazards or other drivers not paying attention. Assuming that another driver will not do something bad is a recipe for disaster.
- When I had a rear-end collision as a teenager, I learned a valuable lesson. Such a collision is ALWAYS the fault of the car in the rear. If you hit another car from the rear, you are following too close and not paying attention. It doesn’t matter if their brake lights are working or not. End of discussion.
- We don’t like to think about teenagers and drugs or alcohol, but it does happen. Please let them know to call you to be picked up rather than driving if such a situation occurs. We would rather be angry at them than be at their funeral.
It is hard to overemphasize the privilege and responsibilities of driving at any age. Please keep open the conversation with your daughter on a regular basis about the importance of such a task. Be a positive role model when you are behind the wheel!
Dr. Saul is Professor of Pediatrics (Emeritus) at Prisma Health and his website is www.mychildrenschildren.com. Contact Dr. Bob at askdrbobsaul@gmail.com with more questions.