Politicians who change their mind on certain topics are accused of “flip-flopping.” I think that changing one’s mind based on rational discourse and informed discussions with people and based on a degree of maturity that reflects reasoned thinking is totally acceptable. Mindless adherence to certain ideas can be just as unreasonable as constantly changing one’s opinion given the “winds” of change. But when someone does change their mind, they are often labeled as being a “flip-flopper” and opportunistic. Some people might indeed be trying to take advantage of certain situations. Others might be making logical changes in opinion that occur during the journey of life. I find myself making such a change about capital punishment, and I am proud of it!
When I was a young idealistic child of the 1960s, it was obvious to me that the death penalty for capital offenses was not a deterrent to crime, and it did not make sense to take a life in exchange for another’s life. I was quite passionate in my arguments about this issue in those formative discussions that occur in early adulthood. Well, that all changed when I became a parent. I soon felt the bond of parenting that is so protective and at times perhaps vengeful if bad things happen to our children. I often wondered what I would do if something seriously harmful happened to my sons at the hands of others. I thought the answer would be that I would want to see that person or persons suffer an equal or worse fate—and that fate would be of course be the death penalty. After all, they did not deserve anything more humane than that since they were obviously evil and “subhuman.” They could not be children of God and should be snuffed out as quickly as possible.
Then more life experiences occurred. Since the Columbine shootings in 1999, I have been on a personal introspective journey about ways that each of us can improve our lives, the lives of others and the life of our community. I have been writing about the Five Steps to Community Improvement—1) Learn to be the best parent, 2) Get involved, 3) Stay involved, 4) Love for others, and 5) Forgiveness. Over the ensuing period since Columbine, serious questions have been asked and multiple answers have been contemplated, reviewed and re-reviewed.
The book JUST MERCY: A STORY OF JUSTICE AND REDEMPTION by Bryan Stevenson reminds us that each of us is more that the worst thing we have ever done. He notes that the measure of our society (and us as citizens) is how we treat the poor, the disfavored, the incarcerated and the condemned. Numerous individuals have been falsely assigned to death row; a sobering fact when one considers that a false execution is irreversible.
The skeptic or cynical reader of this piece would ask—Can’t he make up his mind? That is a reasonable question but I would argue that answers to tough questions are not easily formulated and require thorough, often lengthy, contemplation while seeking the advice of many others. The advice of others includes the wise counsel of esteemed authors, especially for forgiveness.
Desmond Tutu’s THE BOOK OF FORGIVING: THE FOURFOLD PATH FOR HEALING OURSELVES AND OUR WORLD provides valuable advice from the head of the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the group tasked with healing the country of South Africa after the fall of apartheid. He argues that there is nothing that cannot be forgiven, that there is no one undeserving of forgiveness, and that the process of forgiveness is multi-faceted and not easy. THE FORGIVENESS PROJECT by Marina Cantacuzino has multiple gut-wrenching vignettes by individuals who have suffered untold harm or perpetrated such harm and how these folks extended forgiveness or sought forgiveness. She feels quite strongly that forgiveness is “gray” (not black-and-white) and is a direction (not a destination) in her accompanying essay to the book.
Back in 1988 during a presidential election debate, Governor Michael Dukakis was asked if he would endorse the death penalty if his wife was raped and murdered. He answered in a deeply principled way, noting his lifelong opposition to capital punishment. He was ridiculed by many for what they saw as his dispassionate answer. Honest answers can sometimes be seen that way especially in the TV-era (and now social media-era) where fiery or overzealous answers are more likely to have an impact. I prefer deeply reasoned and principled discourse to address complex issues that have profound consequences.
At this time, I am of the firm belief that capital punishment is wrong. It is wrong to falsely execute people. It is wrong to execute people at all. We perpetuate the evil when we kill people. The response of the families in Charleston SC to the killings at the Emmanuel AME Church (the acceptance of grace and extending forgiveness) should remind us of this. I proudly accept the fact that I have changed my opinion and have “flip-flopped.” I would argue that I have not flip-flopped but rather have made a reasoned decision based on a lifetime of experience and moral conviction. Thank goodness!