We have all been known to stare out the window at times. In grade school, I remember looking out the window to the playground, hoping for recess to begin soon. In high school, the daydreaming led to watching the leaves on the trees turn brilliant colors in the fall. The glass in the windows provided a view of the outside world and the opportunity to dream.
But glass windows can seem like or actually be barriers that inhibit interactions with other people or the outside world. Illness or disability or inaction can lead to people on one side of a window simply observing what is happening on the other side. The clear barrier might seem so artificial and easily overcome but circumstances and/or perception can make it feel impenetrable.
I am reminded of the glass barriers in two examples.
- The song “Waving from a window” in the Broadway musical DEAR EVAN HANSEN is sung by the character Evan Hansen as he describes the emotions of being an outsider.1 He is unable to connect with others, so his emotions are those that accompany waving from a window, tapping on the glass, not being heard by anyone, and nobody waving back. They are analogous to staying out of the sun since you will only get burned. Those feelings can lead to unreconcilable pain unless others are willing to recognize that pain and seek to help accordingly. The pain of isolation can be felt at so many stages in our lives so we need to be ready to see how we can help others. At times, we need to assist others in ways we might not even imagine or that they envision that they need. Our eyes need to be wide open.
- The glass barrier in this example is self-imposed yet real. Depression and its isolation serve to make the clear obstruction a paralyzing influence accentuating his pain. He was in his own glass cage.
- A recent article (“Through the Glass” by Dr. Shah) in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) recounts a physician’s very personal story regarding her father’s death during the COVID pandemic.2 As he was taking his final breaths in the ICU, she watched through the glass doors of the room. This certainly surreal scene was punctuated years later with numerous thoughts.
- Having lost her father, she still does not understand that callous stance of so many people about masking, isolation measures and subsequent COVID vaccines. “These conversations, often casual and dismissive, are deeply wounding. They reduce my father to a statistic, minimize the trauma so many families endured, and trivialize the weight so many people silently carry. It is painful. It is triggering. It is infuriating.”
- This experience and subsequent clinical encounters have left a deep impression in Dr. Shah. “Every patient encounter, every conversation…requires humanity more than medicine. I speak slowly with deeper empathy when delivering bad news. I linger in the room just a little longer, and I make space for silence when families are crying.”
- We talk about building resilience, but she also notes the need for recognition. “We perhaps can all benefit from a space to acknowledge what we have endured…The pandemic blurred that boundary…I continue to practice medicine…but do so with the understanding that healing, for ourselves and for patients, requires honesty. It requires remembering the good and the bad.” We need to recognize both of these things.
So, the glass in windows can give us clear views of spectacular things like the views from an airplane or a train ride through the Swiss Alps or New England in the fall. Or it can be an artificial barrier or an enclosure for those suffering from mental illness. Or it can be both – restricting access to a sick parent while at the same time protecting others from potentially lethal diseases.
What we see looking outward and what people see looking inward can reflect reality or be muddled by emotion and bias. Perspective is critical.3 Perspectives can unite us or bitterly separate us. We can choose to see the other side and acknowledge basic truths, or we fiercely argue only what we “see” and refuse to accept alternate ways to move forward constructively. It is up to us to see, to listen and to learn how we can improve our lives, the lives of our family and the life of our community.
The discussion above serves to emphasize that our children, easily seen, can be difficult to interpret as we peer through the windows of their lives. Our presence in their lives is critical to their development and nurturing.4 Let’s not let the windows block our assistance or let the windows give us a false sense of security. Through our trials and tribulations, glass will give us views and windows of observation and reflection in the years ahead. Our presence, our attuned nature, our attentiveness and our responsiveness are our keys to being effective “glass” observers and effective action takers.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Evan_Hansen
- Shah J. Through the Glass. JAMA Nov 13, 2025; 335(19):1709-1710.
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/perspectives/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/doctoring-and-parenting-presence/