Every year, folks make New Year’s resolutions. Mine rarely survive the first thirty days of the year. This year, instead of making resolutions “to do,” I would like to suggest toxins to avoid. Perhaps avoidance might be a fruitful approach for some.
Let me first define toxin. Toxins are strictly defined as “substances created by plants and animals that are poisonous (toxic) to humans.” I would expand the definition to include ideas or actions from humans that are poisonous (toxic) to other humans. The common denominator here is the word “toxic.” And one definition of being toxic notes anything that produces a harmful biological effect. Since ‘bio’ means life, I will stretch the definition of toxic to mean anything that has a harmful effect on humans, mentally and physically.
So, I am going to purposely avoid certain toxins and toxic exposures in 2024, and I ask my readers to consider the same. Let me propose a list. I am sure that with due consideration that it could be much longer. But I think that this is a good start.
- Hate – Hate has a horrible toxic effect on so many things.1,2 The definition of hate is an intense or passionate dislike. But I think that hate goes one step further. Hate evokes such a powerful emotion that its toxicity affects our own thoughts, our interpersonal relationships (partner, family, friends) and our social relationships. And when we let our visceral reactions overtake our reasoned reactions, we are not capable of rational discourse. We lose track of our intended focus to care for others and care about others. The word “hate” is so easy to say and so hard to take back. Like a lake full of toxic material, it takes a long time clean up. Children are not born with the capacity for hate. We unfortunately have instilled the concept of hate in children and too often carried that forward from generation to generation. And I put hate at the top of my list of toxins since I think it affects all the toxins that follow and has such a corrosive effect on all of us.
- Racism – The pervasive toxic effect of racism has been present throughout my lifetime.3-5 One could argue that things are better than they used to be, but I think that that is absolving ourselves of our social responsibility to continue to improve the lives of others. Being a citizen requires a continuous effort to help others. There is no biologic basis for race, but we nonetheless tend to talk about racism when talking about people of color. But let us not forget that biases and barriers against any ethnicity (for example, Jewish, Muslim, Hispanic, Asian and others) pit us vs. them. Such obstacles serve no useful purpose for a society seeking to live up to its potential.
- Lies – The cost of lies is cumulative and erodes the fabric of our society.6 As noted in the mini-series CHERNOBYL, the question is asked what is the cost of lies. “People will mistake them for the truth. The real danger is that if we hear enough lies then we no longer recognize the truth at all. What can we do then?” Indeed, when lies become mistaken for the truth and when we are complicit with liars, we allow the toxic effect of lies to let us stray from our common purpose and ignore our common humanity.
- Judgmental ideation – This perhaps awkward phrase (judgmental ideation) refers to passing judgments about people, usually without adequate information about their circumstances.7 When we are usually passing judgment, we are ignoring gaps in our knowledge or experience that we refuse to accept or even consider. We are passing judgment, most commonly negative, and placing ourselves above others or assuming that we are right and that they are wrong. Such judgmental thinking is toxic and to be avoided.
- Selfishness – When we are selfish, we are purely thinking about ourselves.8 Selfishness erodes civil interactions and leads to breakdown of personal bonds that are so crucial to interpersonal relationships. And acts of selfishness are not easily forgotten or forgiven. Bishop Michael Curry reminds us that the opposite of love is not hate; it is selfishness. Selfishness is a potent toxin that is so corrosive.
- Poverty – I think that we tend to ignore the toxicity of poverty.9 Poverty has a pervasive negative effect on children and families and its consequences are life-long and usually transgenerational. If we choose to treat poverty as a toxin, instead of just viewing it as something that happens to certain people, we would actually choose to make tangible changes in our society and in our ways of caring for each other. We would be more active in our actions to rid our society of such a toxin.
- Skepticism – Skepticism can be healthy but when overdone is toxic.10 Only when we recognize the healthy aspects of being a skeptic (to keep us morally strong) and diminish the toxic aspects of being a skeptic (believing unverified information and breeding mutual suspicion) that we can begin to see our path forward. I think the primary destructive effect of skepticism is loss of trust, and, without trust, we have no mutual goals in our relationships or our society.
The short list of toxins above are to be avoided. But remember, this is not a passive process. Sure, we can just avoid certain things but to really make a difference, we need to actively avoid and promote the opposite of the toxins listed above. My expanded definition of toxin and toxic stretches the definition, but I would argue that it needs to be done.
New Year’s resolutions can be “to do” things but I think this year for me, it will be to acknowledge serious toxins and toxic situations and do everything I can to reverse them. Hate, racism, lies, judgmental ideation, selfishness, poverty, and skepticism can be avoided, both passively and actively, and deserve our attention. Let’s make 2024 something to remember!
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/the-toxicity-of-hate/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/fueled-by-hate-the-list-goes-on-and-on/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/civil-rights-struggles-and-2020-election-denials/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/birmingham-al-1963-children-at-play/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/racial-inequity-it-cannot-be-whitewashed/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/the-cost-of-lies-2/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/the-gaps-that-should-be-filled/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/selfishness/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/the-toxin-of-poverty-and-children-a-way-out/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/skepticism-can-erode-trust