To say that parents or other caregivers are spoiling children when they are nurturing children is to ignore basic needs and conflate some behaviors as being spoiled.
Selfishness does not and will not serve us well. We must recommit to the principles of the American dream and reject the notion of us vs. them.
More often than not, we know the things we should be doing. I can recall many times when knowing something still did not translate into positive actions on my part. When that happens, I have found that looking at opposites can be helpful.