On my early morning walk the other day, I was listening to a podcast. The host, Nicolle Wallace, was interviewing actor Jeff Daniels.1 Mr. Daniels is well-known for multiple roles, perhaps his most famous recent one is as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. He is also known for a classic monologue about why America sorely lacks many qualities needed to be a great country again.2 As the conversation turned toward politics, Nicolle asked, “when did decency become a luxury?” The dialogue that ensued discussed how decency has deteriorated in our current environment. As I walked and thought, unfortunately I had to nod my head in agreement.
In pulling a definition of decency from the internet, I ran across this one – “basic decency refers to the minimum standards of polite, moral, and honest behavior that are expected in society. It involves treating others with respect, empathy, and kindness, and acting in a way that is considered acceptable and appropriate. Essentially, it’s about recognizing the humanity in others and behaving accordingly.” I really like this definition. It gives me a good jumping off point for my arguments that follow below.
Decency means –
- Telling the truth. Lies serve no purpose other than nefarious ones. And the cost of lies is that they multiply; they become unrecognizable due to repetition; they tear at the moral fabric of our society.3 They make trust, the social currency of a society, next to impossible. We become a ship at sea without any power or navigation equipment. We become powerless and lost.
- Helping others. When treating others with respect, empathy and kindness, one cannot help but assist those folks in good times and bad times. When we let our leaders engage in us vs. them battles, we all suffer. When we put ourselves above others to deny basic human needs (health care, education, housing, social assistance, nutrition), we have determined, wrongly in my estimation, that we are the arbiters of the value of human lives. Those of faith should strongly reject such a proposition.
- Feeding others. The United States has great capacity to do good in the world. We have demonstrated that throughout our history and certainly in my lifetime over the last 75 years. Shutting off the “spigot” of food assistance and medical assistance to others around the world is a travesty that will be remembered for its cruelty in the years to come.4
- Praising diversity. When we come to grips with the breadth of humanity and our small place in it and when we acknowledge that our physical appearance and our mannerisms do not truly reflect our souls, then we reach the revelation that our incredible diversity is to be embraced. Our differences are usually those of our own making. They are not intrinsically bad but can be used for unsightly purposes if we let them.
- Removing barriers. Barriers that have been erected over the years might be purposeful or unintended. Nonetheless, they are real and usually difficult to overcome or eradicate. Redlining was such a barrier and realistically still exists to this day though some might argue to the contrary.5 The negative effects of such barriers usually require generations to overcome, if at all. Our Native Americans still suffer from the effects of westward “colonization” of their lands (taking their lands, placing them in confined territories, essentially wiping out their cultures) that occurred over 200+ years ago. Barriers also exist for those with disabilities.6 When we ignore the barriers for some, it is too easy to ignore the barriers for all. Decency should never be selective.
- Exercising civility. Without civility, there are no reasonable discussions. I am reminded of the quote from Marilynne Robinson that “resentment displaces hope and purpose the way carbon monoxide displaces air” when civility is lost.7 Our social environment (our “air”) is poisoned (by a carbon monoxide-like substance) when we lack the ability to interact in a civil manner.
- Engaging in empathy. To have lost the quality of empathy for all, not just for some, is truly heartbreaking.8 To argue that we are a caring nation and then to see how our government has chosen to execute some laws defies logic. Empathy means the willingness to engage in the suffering of others. It does not mean to inflict suffering on others.
- Practicing humility. To be humble is to accept one’s place amongst the rest of us. We are not the exalted ones or the exalted few while others are beneath us. We treat others as we would want ourselves and our loved ones treated. We care about others.
(credit: The Raven Group)
Decency is not a luxury, but I have to agree with Nicolle Wallace that it seems like it is becoming a scarce commodity. It should be as commonplace as turning on the faucet for water. Yet, our current polarization makes it flow like a trickle at times.
I am reminded of the McCarthy hearings back in the 1950s when Senator McCarthy was called out and eventually censured for his demonization of so many without any basis in fact. Attorney Joseph Welch pointedly called out McCarthy with “you’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”9 Welch recognized the importance of decency and nailed his analysis.
We should be better than this. That might be too easy to say but we should at least aspire to be better than this. We need a stronger sense of decency in all of our interactions. Decency should not be a luxury. Decency is a necessity, a basic tool/skill, in a civil society that hopes to advance democratic ideals. Polite, moral, and honest behavior is predicated on treating others with respect, empathy, and kindness. Let’s continue to move in that direction and remove the luxury label. It should flow freely everywhere, all the time.
- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-best-people-with-nicolle-wallace/id1817225413?i=1000716221727
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJh9t9h6Wn0
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/the-cost-of-lies-2/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/voices-for-children/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/remember-redlining/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/amazing-grace/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/civility-matters-2/
- https://mychildrenschildren.com/em-within-pathos-suffering-empathy-revisited-2025/
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_N._Welch
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svUyYzzv6VI